Attitude of Gratitude

Blog 14

August 6, 2017

                                                            An Attitude of Gratitude

                               

There have been many up and downs but through it all, God has been with me every step of the way. Four sleepless nights! I just could not sleep, and I don’t know why. I don’t think I could have taken another night like that, but thankfully on the fifth night I sleep like a baby, and God knows I would need it for what lay ahead that day. However, I had a headache. It was about four o’clock so rather than fight it, I decided to pray. I prayed about Mommy, determined to go visit her that day. And then, we got the phone call “She’s gone.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t believe it! I had just spoken to her that night before….we both said our “I love yous.” She called me her beloved daughter.”

You see, just the Sunday the week before, I made peace with her. Following the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I asked for her forgiveness for all the wrongs I had committed against her. Oh sweet release! It was well with my soul. I needed this more than Mommy did. We talked about Caribbean parenting, and how harsh many parents were because that was all they knew. They seldom openly showed affection to their children. If you are a parent, and are reading my blog, this is for you. Love your children and love them hard. Don’t be afraid to show it but be open about it. Do not let a day go by without telling them you love them. Put down the remote controls with your endless shows. Forget the endless socializing, the shopping with money you don’t even have. Just love, love, LOVE them! Let them know it, but more importantly, let them feel and see your love by your words and your actions.

Over the last few weeks, Mommy did that more and more. A few weeks before when she came with my brother to visit me, the Holy Spirit once more impressed me to sit beside her and hug her (an act  I would not have done before.)  That I did, and the result was priceless. As I cuddled beside her with my head in her bosom, the tears flowed. It was the first real, meaningful embrace between Mommy and I in a very long time. You see, there was a lot of unforgiveness and unresolved issues between her and I. At first, she was a little taken aback with me approaching her like that, but we melted in each other’s arms. She hugged me back, massaged my feet, and stroked my hair. Oh. It felt so good! We were in heaven as we cherished this new experience between mother and daughter, hoping it would never end. Since then, our relationship leapt forward with great depth. We looked forward to speaking and seeing each other.  Since then, my new pet name from her was “my beloved daughter.

I spoke to Mommy the night before she passed. She was so happy and upbeat, and I knew she was at peace with God. She had suffered so terribly with the pain, and God in His mercy laid her to rest. I like the way Pr. Laffit put it…..”Another victory for God. Satan did not win her soul!” No he didn’t, and I praise God for that.

It has never been about me and my illness. You see, it started a chain reaction of a broken family mending its broken pieces. We have come to the culmination- Mommy’s death has brought us siblings closer together as never before, with ties that can never be broken. The Lord fit together our broken pieces through His sweet love. Thank you God, for the times I got to be with my beautiful mother Beverley Amondsen. I cannot even recall any negative memories anymore- only the good. I have no doubt I’ll see her face at the pearly gates one day. Lord, Your ways are perfect, and your timing is impeccable.

The story does not end here though as we strive to be more like Jesus each day. Won’t you let Him in also so He can mend your broken hearts, fix your wounds, heal your diseases- whatever it may be. We all need Jesus more than ever before, so make your calling and election sure. God had worked a miracle in Mommy’s life. Since her hospitalization she experienced great peace- her personality became subdued, and she was so pleasant, not ceasing to tell us how much she loved us. We took these opportunities to return this beautiful display of love.

And so, on Monday, August 1 at 4 a.m. Mommy took her last breath. Nothing could revive her. It was her time. She went peacefully with my brother, and eldest sister at her side. At times, God puts people to sleep to save them. He did this for my mother, Thank you, Lord! Your ways are perfect and your timing sure. Since that time there has been an outpouring of love and well wishes from family, close and distant friends, and church family. I told my pastor how my church family rocks! Everyone offered to help in some way or another. The program for the funeral service is being taken care of, as well as the video by some dear friends of mine from church. In addition to that, the Fellowship Hall is being decorated with her favorite color, and with her favorite flowers. They have organized delicious Jamaican cuisine for the repast, not to mention those special people who helped us organize the program outline, web page, and announcements, I cannot say enough how thankful I am. What a mighty God we serve! Tis so set to trust in Jesus! It surely is. We, the Amondsen family, take an attitude of gratitude to God, and everyone involved in this process.

Finally, “Love one another as I have loved you.” If you still have your mother, or any family member with you, then love them. Stop bickering over everything they have done and are doing wrong, and praise them for what they are doing right. Don’t try to change them as that is not our job, but that of the Holy Spirit. Plant seeds that will flourish, and help them through their times of weakness. God worked it out for me, and He is faithful to do it for you too.

Today, I am at peace with the knowledge that Mommy is sleeping soundly, awaiting that Blessed Hope. Thank you God for increasing my faith and hope, and thank you for your unending love.

Although my battle with cancer continues, the Lord never ceases to perform so many miracles which I cannot wait to share with you in the next blog.