Attitude of Gratitude

Blog 14

August 6, 2017

                                                            An Attitude of Gratitude

                               

There have been many up and downs but through it all, God has been with me every step of the way. Four sleepless nights! I just could not sleep, and I don’t know why. I don’t think I could have taken another night like that, but thankfully on the fifth night I sleep like a baby, and God knows I would need it for what lay ahead that day. However, I had a headache. It was about four o’clock so rather than fight it, I decided to pray. I prayed about Mommy, determined to go visit her that day. And then, we got the phone call “She’s gone.” It hit me like a ton of bricks. I couldn’t believe it! I had just spoken to her that night before….we both said our “I love yous.” She called me her beloved daughter.”

You see, just the Sunday the week before, I made peace with her. Following the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I asked for her forgiveness for all the wrongs I had committed against her. Oh sweet release! It was well with my soul. I needed this more than Mommy did. We talked about Caribbean parenting, and how harsh many parents were because that was all they knew. They seldom openly showed affection to their children. If you are a parent, and are reading my blog, this is for you. Love your children and love them hard. Don’t be afraid to show it but be open about it. Do not let a day go by without telling them you love them. Put down the remote controls with your endless shows. Forget the endless socializing, the shopping with money you don’t even have. Just love, love, LOVE them! Let them know it, but more importantly, let them feel and see your love by your words and your actions.

Over the last few weeks, Mommy did that more and more. A few weeks before when she came with my brother to visit me, the Holy Spirit once more impressed me to sit beside her and hug her (an act  I would not have done before.)  That I did, and the result was priceless. As I cuddled beside her with my head in her bosom, the tears flowed. It was the first real, meaningful embrace between Mommy and I in a very long time. You see, there was a lot of unforgiveness and unresolved issues between her and I. At first, she was a little taken aback with me approaching her like that, but we melted in each other’s arms. She hugged me back, massaged my feet, and stroked my hair. Oh. It felt so good! We were in heaven as we cherished this new experience between mother and daughter, hoping it would never end. Since then, our relationship leapt forward with great depth. We looked forward to speaking and seeing each other.  Since then, my new pet name from her was “my beloved daughter.

I spoke to Mommy the night before she passed. She was so happy and upbeat, and I knew she was at peace with God. She had suffered so terribly with the pain, and God in His mercy laid her to rest. I like the way Pr. Laffit put it…..”Another victory for God. Satan did not win her soul!” No he didn’t, and I praise God for that.

It has never been about me and my illness. You see, it started a chain reaction of a broken family mending its broken pieces. We have come to the culmination- Mommy’s death has brought us siblings closer together as never before, with ties that can never be broken. The Lord fit together our broken pieces through His sweet love. Thank you God, for the times I got to be with my beautiful mother Beverley Amondsen. I cannot even recall any negative memories anymore- only the good. I have no doubt I’ll see her face at the pearly gates one day. Lord, Your ways are perfect, and your timing is impeccable.

The story does not end here though as we strive to be more like Jesus each day. Won’t you let Him in also so He can mend your broken hearts, fix your wounds, heal your diseases- whatever it may be. We all need Jesus more than ever before, so make your calling and election sure. God had worked a miracle in Mommy’s life. Since her hospitalization she experienced great peace- her personality became subdued, and she was so pleasant, not ceasing to tell us how much she loved us. We took these opportunities to return this beautiful display of love.

And so, on Monday, August 1 at 4 a.m. Mommy took her last breath. Nothing could revive her. It was her time. She went peacefully with my brother, and eldest sister at her side. At times, God puts people to sleep to save them. He did this for my mother, Thank you, Lord! Your ways are perfect and your timing sure. Since that time there has been an outpouring of love and well wishes from family, close and distant friends, and church family. I told my pastor how my church family rocks! Everyone offered to help in some way or another. The program for the funeral service is being taken care of, as well as the video by some dear friends of mine from church. In addition to that, the Fellowship Hall is being decorated with her favorite color, and with her favorite flowers. They have organized delicious Jamaican cuisine for the repast, not to mention those special people who helped us organize the program outline, web page, and announcements, I cannot say enough how thankful I am. What a mighty God we serve! Tis so set to trust in Jesus! It surely is. We, the Amondsen family, take an attitude of gratitude to God, and everyone involved in this process.

Finally, “Love one another as I have loved you.” If you still have your mother, or any family member with you, then love them. Stop bickering over everything they have done and are doing wrong, and praise them for what they are doing right. Don’t try to change them as that is not our job, but that of the Holy Spirit. Plant seeds that will flourish, and help them through their times of weakness. God worked it out for me, and He is faithful to do it for you too.

Today, I am at peace with the knowledge that Mommy is sleeping soundly, awaiting that Blessed Hope. Thank you God for increasing my faith and hope, and thank you for your unending love.

Although my battle with cancer continues, the Lord never ceases to perform so many miracles which I cannot wait to share with you in the next blog.

The Master Architect and Builder

The Master Architect and Builder

God is a Master Architect and Builder. The way He puts His plans together is just ingenious. He says "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. And then you will call on Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13

He starts with a sure foundation- one that is planted on the Rock which will not be washed away by every wind and storm. That Rock is Jesus. If we believe and trust in Him we will not be moved. He rejects imperfect, flimsy materials and replaces them with His perfect sturdy ones. For me, He has used trials after trials to harden that cement to the foundation. By His grace, I’m not going anywhere regardless of the storms. He knows exactly how long it will take. I would have thought that in my case this would have been over and done with by now, but His timing is perfect, because it’s all for His glory. In time, I will see the finished product, and it will glorify His name for His goodness, mercy, patience, and great love for me. 

Think of the story of Joseph. Through all of Joseph’s terrible experiences, he showed unshakable faith in God. As a child, God gave Him a glimpse of the future, but Joseph didn’t really understand what the dreams meant. He would never have imagined what was to come His way. First of all, he was his father’s favorite, and that caused hatred and resentment from his brothers. They rejected him, and when he came looking for them, they threw him into a pit, and sold him into slavery. I can just imagine what Joseph must have been feeling- the horror of being treated this way by his own brothers, and now a slave. What was to become of him? Joseph could have become resentful and angry, but not so. Instead we see him being a good servant to Potiphar, so much so that he puts him in charge of his household. When Potiphar’s wife came on to Joseph, he honored God and Potiphar, and made the right choice to refuse her. The result of this decision put him in jail. Can we make that same decision even if it would put us in jail, or cost us our lives?

While in jail, Joseph still refused to be bitter or angry. He continued to bring glory to God. We don’t know how long Joseph was in jail, but his behavior was so honorable that the chief jailer gave him a position of responsibility in the jail. The story continues….. Then the king’s baker and cupbearer were thrown in jail. After a while, both received dreams. God showed Joseph the interpretations of the dreams. The cupbearer would be reinstated at his job, while the other would be put to death. Joseph reminded the cupbearer to remember him and mention his name to the Pharoah, but Joseph’s name was forgotten. Regardless, Joseph still had faith in God. Even though God may seem silent, He is always up to something wonderful. God was designing a Master Plan. At the appointed time, and not before, Joseph was released and brought before Pharoah to interpret his dreams. Pharoah was so impressed by Joseph that he made him second in command. We know the how the story continues. God’s plan for Joseph was such that it would involve saving a whole generation of people. Because of Joseph’s steadfastness, God was paving the way for Him to deliver the Israelites many years later.

I bet it didn’t make sense to Joseph, but Joseph trusted God because God is the Master Architect and Builder. He designs and allows circumstances that will strengthen us so our “walls” do not get broken down. It  didn’t make sense as Joseph was going through it, but God is the Master Architect. He is always up to something, and if we trust Him, we will one day understand.

There is a story that goes like this: One day, a pastor went to visit a family who lived in the middle of a booming oil district. As he greeted this family, he noted how sad and dejected they were. The man said “Pastor, God has forgotten us. Oil was found in this area. Engineers came and assured everyone we would all be rich. They dug in my neighbor’s yard to my right, and found lots of oil.  They dug in my other neighbor’s yard to the left, and found oil there too! They sold their homes, moved to the city, and we were left here alone.”

A few years later, the pastor returned to visit this family who had no oil on their land. The father was smiling this time. And so, the pastor assumed they had finally found oil on their land. But the man said they never found oil there. This took the pastor by surprise. The man said “The strangest thing happened. All our friends moved to the city and bought big expensive homes and new expensive cars. Their children went to the finest schools. Most of them joined the fanciest country clubs. But it wasn’t long before their lifestyle took a toll. Their marriages broke up. Their children rebelled and left the church, caught up in the fast life.” He continued “Pastor, God did us a favor by not putting any oil on our land. We are still together and very happy. We thank God every day for giving us what is really important, and protecting us from things that aren’t”- for building up, and tearing what needs to come down. God the Master Architect was at it again!

Several days ago, my friend sent me a sermon. After getting ready for bed, I decided to end the day by listening to it. It was a moving story about how a little boy endured so many trials while being true to God. He demonstrated so much strength as he endured horrific pin and adversity. I was mesmerized, and deeply involved in the book, when I suddenly felt something warm running down my chest. When I looked, I was surprised to see blood pouring down. Immediately I called Tony. By this time, blood was squirting out- seemed like a pipe burst! I made my way to the bathtub, but instead of panicking, I did something very strange. I can’t explain why, but while holding a towel to my chest. I raised the other hand and shouted praises to God. Tony must have thought I was nuts, but at that moment, I knew God was up to something. I can’t explain it but I was filled with the Spirit of God telling me to praise!

This is how He is so wonderful- He knew I would need strengthening to get through this ordeal, so at the right time I received that powerful sermon to strengthen me. When we couldn’t stop the blood, we decided to call 911. Fire Rescue was on the scene first. They wrapped the wound tightly, then gave me saline as I had lost a lot of blood by this time. The place looked like a massacre scene, as those of you whom I’ve shown the picture can testify! The paramedics were there soon after. I thank God I could be a witness to both by reciting favorite Scriptures like the 23^rd Psalm, by being calm, even smiling, and making jokes during the ordeal. So, from what I’m being told, tumors are vascular, consisting mostly of blood vessels, one of which burst. Yikes! That was week before last Wednesday. I stayed in the hospital until the Sunday five days later. During that time, I was showered with care and affection from family members, church members, and friends. Many thanks for the beet/celery carrot juices, green juices, cards, flowers, food, phone calls, texts, and outpouring of love for me. I am so blessed, and I thank God for each one of you.

Many times when we find ourselves in these situations, we sometimes get mean, bitter, angry and resentful, and say horrible things to our caregivers. Not so with me. I was so thankful for the care, and made sure they were greeted with a smile every time they entered my room. I don’t want to come across as being boastful, but the first nurse I had when I was assigned a room- she happens to be a friend of my sister- actually told my sister how positive I was. She said if she hadn’t read my charts she would never have known that I had a serious illness. To God be the glory!!! We need to be positively representing Him at all times- even in the difficult times. You see, like Joseph, I know God is up to something. I’m not quite sure yet, but I know He’s orchestrating something that will bring glory and honor to His name. This He wants to do in all our lives. He wants to do a major reconstruction in us. Some walls may need tearing down, or strengthened. Some materials may need to be replaced by stronger, lasting ones. The ceiling may need expanding so we can soar to new heights. The width may need to be widened because we are too confined in a box. He’s even very interested about the furnishings more so than even the exterior. We must be built up on a solid foundation, upon the rock which is Jesus. "I laid a foundation, and another is building upon it. For no man can lay a foundation other that the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ." (1 Corinthians 3:10b-11). "...but you are fellow citizens with the saints...having been built upon the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the chief cornerstone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together is growing into a holy temple of the Lord..." (Ephesians 2:19b-21). He is building us to become the image of God.

God is big into detail- just look at the plans He gave Moses to build the Sanctuary, or to Solomon to design the Temple! We are His Temple, so how much more does He want to execute His plans in our lives. At times, it is difficult and painful, and I can’t hear His voice. Nevertheless, I know He is near, and His Word clearly says that He will never leave me or forsake me. There is no turning back for me. I’ve come too far to turn back know, as the old song goes. In the midst of all the excruciating pain I have many days, I turn my face towards heaven and just praise. I remember that “He doesn’t give me more than I can bear, but with every trial provides a way so that you can endure.” 1 Corinthians 10:13.

So my friends, continue to stand and wait on the Lord for Him to execute His Master Plans and Renovations in each of us. For He is the Master Architect, and He holds the blueprint of our lives. Let God do things His way and in His time, because His ways are set up just perfectly for Him to receive the outcome and the glory that belongs only to Him- for Him to construct a masterpiece!

My prayer:

Dear Lord, forgive me for locking the door to my heart. I give you the keys so you may come in and do all the building you need to do. Tear down what is unlike you so I may be designed into the masterpiece you created me to be.

In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

He Wants It All

Blog 12

He wants it all

When I had to leave teaching, it broke my heart. I was so attached to those children...still am. I thought I would be out but a little while, but here I am more than 5 months later- still home.

Then, to make it worse, I had to step down as Adventurer Director. I had been doing this for 17 years. My life was centered around teaching and the church, and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. The problem was that my life wasn't centered around Christ, and I didn't even realize it.  For 16 years, I had taught Cradle Roll- (infants- 4 years) at church. I worked with the Youth Department. Every year when school ended for summer I would start the laborious task of preparing for VBS late summer. My children barely had a summer with me as I was so busy painting, ordering materials, creating schedules, finding volunteers and assigning tasks, walking the community handing out flyers with my children, nieces, nephew, and another family. Being the perfectionist that I am (was, as God has been working on breaking down those strongholds), I didn't even realize how I was neglecting my own family while I was so busy with the church. Yes they were always with me, but what they really needed was to have the attention of their mother more often on a one-to-one basis.

Anything that takes time away from God is an idol. These things had become my idols. While it is necessary to get involved with the church, we must always recognize our first duties. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness. And all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33. We must have a close relationship with God first. As the years went on, I found myself less and less connected. I was missing out on family events because I was so involved in Adventurer events, preparing sets for upcoming events, or some other "pressing event." After years of doing this you can't help but get terribly burnt out. Furthermore, I had so disconnected from God because of lack of a prayer and study life, and the more I disconnected, the harder I found it to come to God. Why do we do that, when it is these moments when we need to draw closer to Him for help? That's when the enemy comes in as he always does, and points his snarly fingers up your face to tell you that you're not good enough...just look at what you're doing! ...That God can't forgive you.  And you're so stupid you believe it. Then you fall further and further away, until you find yourself doing things you never would have found yourself doing before.

I make this open confession because I know there are so many people in this boat. I've had dear friends who have lost their families because they neglected the most important duties to God, and to their families. I'd like to openly apologize to my children, my husband and extended family, for the times I missed out on those special times. God has opened my eyes, and I plan to not let any more moments slip pass me.

Thank God my children are still in the church, but many are not so fortunate. Their children have left, but do not despair as God is in the business of restoration. He wants to redeem the past. Will you let Him do so?

While sitting on my patio enjoying the blue skies, fluffy white clouds floating by, feeling the wind on my face, soaking up the sunshine, and enjoying the greenery, it suddenly hit me that this is my wilderness moment. God had to take me away from it all to get my attention to show me what is most important in life. He has slowed me down, and He speaks to me in those still moments through nature, through His Word, and the many readings I've gone through. Would I have connected otherwise? Probably not. So I thank God for this time of refreshing and restoration.

Although God has touched many areas of my life, He has shown me that there are still areas in my life He still needs to work on. This is an ongoing process. As I search my heart, I realize there have been missed opportunities to be a witness for Him, and that breaks my heart as He has done so much for me. So each day I pray for God to order my day, to show me His plans for me for that day so that I may walk in it. The more we become in tune with Him, the more we begin to understand what He wants us to do. His Holy Spirit will lead and guide us to show us where to go, what to say, do, how we eat, how we think, even how we dress as all things should bring glory and honor to His name.

I thank God for His great love for me, and for us. These moments in solitude have been a blessing.

He has been searching my heart and perfecting my character day by day to more reflect Him. At times when I see my true state, I hang my head in shame, but God raises my head and says "My grace is sufficient for you" and He moves me along. What a God! I surrender my life so He can transform my entire life. Will you do the same? Let go of your idols, give Him your everything, and trust Him with your all. He will not let you down if you give Him your all.

My Prayer: 

Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of you Son. Thank you for searching our hearts and transforming us to be more like you. Lord, we surrender ourselves to You alone, so that you can do a good work in us. You want it all and so we give you our all. In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen

He Wants It All

Bow The Knee

Blog 11

Bow The Knee!

One thing I have learned through all this….it is to pray, to bow the knee. Continuing with the Red Sea experience, it says in Exodus 14:10 that “when Pharaoh drew near, the children of Israel lifted up their eyes, and beheld, the Egyptians marched after them. So, they were very afraid, and the children of Israel cried out to the Lord.” Have you ever been backed into a corner, and all you see before you is the advancing army coming to devour you? Oh, how I know the feeling! From the very first time I got the diagnosis of cancer it has felt like that. As time proceeds, good days come and all is well, then the army seems to pick up even greater force, and charges!

While I was talking to a friend of mine I met while at my stay in Oasis Hospital in Mexico, it was interesting to hear her talk about this whole cancer ordeal. She referred to her cancer as a gift. I was deeply moved as I took in her words as she explained. The onset of the cancer had brought so many changes in her life for the better. She had learned to appreciate life, and those around her. I understood exactly what she was talking about. Life becomes so precious in situations like these that you cherish every moment, and everyone who is a part of your day. You are thankful for the simplest things, but most of all it has brought me to my knees. It has taught me to pray as I have never done before. And because of that, I not only know OF the Father, but I have come to KNOW the Father. What good is it if we have all the doctrines of the Bible, have memorized dozens of memory verses, if we do not really know the Person these testify of?

Time and time again we are faced with the choice to either panic or pray as these situations arise, and too often we choose the former. I have had my share of panic attacks, and I don’t care for any more as they do not solve a thing except leave you frazzled, desperate, and bewildered. When I choose the alternative, prayer brings me peace despite the storm because God knows how to make a way.

Says David, “In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried out to my God. He heard my voice from His temple…..He brings them out of their distress. He calms the storm, so that its waves are still.” 2 Samuel 22:7, 22-29. God always hears. When the Israelites cried out with great intensity to God, the waters parted. Are we crying out with great intensity? Are we praying hard and long? I often think of Jacob who wrestled all night with God, and would not let go until he was blessed. I’ve done this in my prayer closet until I have become broken  and in full surrender. When the disciples were in the boat with the sleeping Jesus, and a storm arose, all that the disciples could focus on was the storm. They felt overwhelmed by the raging waves that rocked and crashed against the boat. The winds lashed mercilessly, the lightning flashed, and the thunder crashed above them. It seemed they were doomed because they were so busy praying the problem. Amidst the flashing light, they saw the form of Jesus sleeping soundly in the boat. Jesus arose and with His powerful words He said “Peace, be still.” Don’t pray the problem- oh my head hurts, or this or that is happening…… SPEAK TO THE STORM! Speak God’s Words because there is power in His Words. The same Jesus who spoke creation into existence can speak the words to calm the storms.

God wants us to speak His Words to the storms in our lives. He wants us to stay calm and confident, allowing Him to work in His timing.  I love the verses “Do not be afraid. Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. For the Egyptians (the storms, the cancer, the troubles) whom you see today, you shall see again no more forever. The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace.” Exodus 14: 13-14. Woo hoo! This is great news!!!! Such reassurance! When we speak His Words, we will get the same results. The Israelites prayers were united and earnest. They pleaded in faith. As Thomas Watson said, “Faith is to prayer what the feather is to the arrow; it feathers the arrow of prayer, and makes it fly swifter, and pierce the throne of grace.” When we are faced with these situations, pray urgently, unfeignedly, and unitedly, trusting God all the while. I have had so many lovely people who are praying along with me, believing with me that God will get me through this. As I was doing my morning devotions this past week, I came across a Scripture I had read many times before. However, this time it stood out as a light in the dark. So much so that it sent my level of faith soaring to the heavenly throne. Isaiah 55:11: “So shall my Word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it will accomplish that which I please, and so it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” God has so graciously given us the power of His Word, and when we speak it in faith, in the position of victory, it commands breakthroughs. Amen!

God is so kind in that He continuously sends reassurance to me at my lowest hours. I received a call one day from a pastor friend of Tony’s family, Manuel, who lives in Venezuela. He said that as he was walking he was strongly impressed to call me. He was told to change the prayer asking for healing, and to claim the healing. Another dear friend, Elka, in Orlando texted one morning after praying for me that she was lead to a Scripture upon asking the Lord for a Word: Luke 8:50 – “Don’t be afraid; just believe and she will be healed.” Then there is my prayer partner Rosanna, who opened her prayer list to do her usual prayers. As she was praying and came to my name, she started to write “healing” but it was as though an invisible hand moved her to write “healed” instead! There have been many more of these assurances from God. How loving and kind He is to do this. A few weeks ago, I did a technology fast since I cannot really do a food fast at this time. I decided to fast from Friday night through Sunday morning. The purpose was to be still as I sought God’s will. Tony and I prayed through Friday night. On Sabbath morning as usual, I started to get dressed for church, but no sooner had I started to do this, I found myself very dizzy. Tony reminded me that I had declared to God to be still during the fast while I sought His will. How could I accomplish that if I went to church? So, I decided to stay home. No sooner had everyone left, that the dizziness went away. I spent a lovely Sabbath day studying His Word, and waiting patiently on Him. Once again, Tony and I sought the Lord Saturday night until we fell asleep. At about 3 a.m. I woke up and I realized God had given me a dream. In the dream, Tony, myself, and my dear friend Pastor David were sitting in our courtyard at the front of our house. Nearby was a mulberry tree. On his tree was a lone mulberry. It was lumpy and bumby, and reminded me of a tumor. It was also green and pink in parts, and it was obvious it wasn’t quite ripe as yet. Now when mulberries are ripe they turn purple. Nevertheless, I reached over, picked the mulberry, and gave it to Pastor David who asked me why I had picked it, that it was not time yet. I thank God for that message, because He said to me that night to wait on Him. In all my restlessness, I want to go ahead of Him when He has a divine plan. There are still things He wants to teach me and those around me. It has brought me peace and comfort now to know I serve a God who knows and hears the cries of His children. He understands, but He is up to something, and I am so humbled to be a part of it.

So, continue to stand united with me while I wait on the Lord for the manifestation of this parting of my Red Sea. No room for doubt people!!!!! So speak life for me, not death. “He alone can storm the impregnable, devise the improbable, and perform the impossible.” Hallelujah! I believe, so don’t give up on me or on God for He is able. Tony and I are moving forward in faith…..so much so that Tony and I are already talking about our Victory/Anniversary celebration next year. We have no time or place for doubt because this same God who did this for the Israelites and for the disciples, can move this huge obstacle for us. I hope to see my near and dear friends there, so we continue to move forward in faith, taking it step by step…day by day. I do not know how or when God will move this Red Sea, but I am confident He will. And so, we wait patiently on Him as he brings us into situations that bring us to our knees.

There is a beautiful song I know by the Nebblett Family called “Bow The Knee.” Here are the words followed by the link.

When you are at your lowest moments, remember you are not alone. Remember to bow the knee. Blessings to you all!

There are moments on our journey, following the Lord

When God illumines every step we take

There are days when circumstances make perfect sense to us

As we try to understand each move He makes.

When the path grows dim

And you’re your questions have no answers turn to Him.

Bow the Knee,

Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see

Bow the Knee

Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.

And when you don’t understand the purpose of His plan

In the presence of the King

Bow the Knee

There are days when clouds surround us

And the rain begins to fall

The cold and lonely winds won’t cease to blow

And there seems to be no reason

For the suffering we feel

We are tempted to believe God does not know

When the storms arise

Don’t forget we walk by faith and not by sight.

Bow the Knee

Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see

Bow the Knee

Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.

And when you don’t understand the purpose of His plan

In the presence of the King

Bow the Knee

May you be blessed by this song.

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juWQ_4QZxEE

For God's Glory

Blog 10- For God’s Glory

Well it certainly has been a roller coaster ride to say the least. I have at times found myself strong in faith, and at other times terribly weak. Through this whole ordeal, God has been showing me exactly what I am made of….am I who I say or think I really am? Do I love Him as much as I say I do and will I obey Him and go wherever He sends me? It has been a humbling experience in which I have had to wait on the Lord, which is hard. I want what I want now, but as He has proven time and time again, He has a reason for everything and His timing is perfect.

It has been hard to take my eyes off this cancer giant, but He is always faithful to send someone to lift me up out of the slump I get into at times. The New Year started off better than the Christmas holidays. My medications and supplements were adjusted so I could better tolerate them. However, most of the times I am very fatigued so I have had to learn to slow way down. Anyone who knows me knows I am a driven person- I am always on the go, doing, busy, energizer bunny, planner, go-getter, nothing will stand in my way kind of person…..I even walk fast! Through all this, God has slowed me to down to smell the roses…to see the things I have missed. Yesterday morning after a struggle with self-pity, I strolled out on the back patio early in the morning to soak up some healing rays. Above my head, I heard a “twit, twit, twit.” It was a little bird. As an avid nature lover, I knew all the birds in my neighborhood, but I have never seen that bird in my area before. As it twitted from leaf to leaf on the palm branches I realized that it was drinking water that had been caught from the morning dew. It made me realize how God cares for even the little birds, and how much more He cares for me. That little bird did not worry, but knew he would be taken care of. “Therefore, I tell you, do not worry about your life…..look at the birds of the air….Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6: 25,26. Do I truly believe that in my heart? I am choosing to believe it. Yes, Jesus cares for me.

In the last blog I spoke about the Red Sea experience of the Israelites. I spoke about the first rule from the book “The Red Sea Rules” by Robert J. Morgan:

Rule #1: “Realize that God means for you to be where you are.” Let us continue with the second rule:

Rule #2 says: “Be more concerned for God’s glory than for your relief.” Sometimes we can’t find answers because we ask the wrong questions. I have stopped asking why this is happening to me. Instead, we need to ask ourselves how God can be glorified in this situation. Says J. Hudson Taylor, “I know He tries me only to increase my faith, and that is all in love. Well, if He is glorified then I am content.” We see examples of this in the New Testament when Jesus is asked about the man who was blind from birth. The disciples wanted to know if it was because of something he or the parents had done to cause his blindness. However, Jesus answered that “this happened that the works of God should be revealed in him.” John 9:3. Same thing with Lazarus. Jesus said of his death in John 11:4 that “this sickness is not unto death, but for the glory of God, that the Son of God may be glorified through it.”

Jesus glorified His Father throughout His life on earth. I want in my situation that God’s name is glorified. I want everyone to know that He is the Lord that saves us. “Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but to your Name give glory.” Psalm 115:1. I’ve seen Him do it in the past, and I know He’ll do it again. Several months ago, God did a miracle for my family. We have been going through illness after illness among my family members. One Sabbath morning over a year ago while sitting in church, I received a text from my cousin Bobby that my Aunt Lisa was not doing well, and that we should come to say our goodbyes. We left church right away to go see her in Fort Lauderdale. Before leaving I sent a quick text to Pastor Laffit Cortes requesting prayer for my Aunt. When we arrived at the hospital it was looking very grim. Aunt Lisa was hooked up to all kinds of tubes. It was hard to see my vibrant aunt in this state. 

Pastor Laffit called while I was there,  and asked if the family would be willing to have them do an anointing. My cousin agreed to it, and so the next day not one, but all three pastors came- Laffit Cortes, Gervon Marsh, and Morris Thompson! We sang and we prayed, and lifted up my cousin and his family, and then they anointed her.  It was very hard on Bobby as he had not only lost his father to Lou Gehrig’s disease, but also his only sibling, Chris, in a terrible accident. The doctors were planning to pull her breathing tubes, and this decision weighed heavily on Bobby. So it was especially difficult. We were able to minister to him and bring words of comfort when he found it too hard to bear.  I was so moved by that act of kindness on the part of the pastors, as they did not know my family, but they knew me. I was a part of their family- the family of God, and when one hurts we all hurt. And so it should always be with all of us. This act of kindness spoke volumes to my cousin and to my family as a testimony to our faith of the God we serve, and I will be forever grateful to my pastors for this. The next day Aunt Lisa started to show signs of improvement. Within the next few days, Aunt Lisa started to recover despite the odds. She started to speak again, then soon she could  stand up and walk! 

 Just this past Christmas, she was with us at our annual family Christmas dinner. God of wonder! I can always look back on this miracle experience and know that God is the Great Physician, and what He did for my Aunt Lisa, He can and will do for me. For His Words says “I am the Lord who heals you.” It is His will to heal and pour out blessings on His people, and we must always believe that.

As we go through the trials in this life know that God will turn” difficulties into deliverances and problems into praise, beauty for ashes, and an attitude of worship for the spirit of heaviness.” Oh how I know it! Night before last, in a dark moment of feeling sorry for myself, God called me to praise. As I poured out my heart in praise and adoration, God did indeed empower me to rise above my present situation and to give Him glory. God is teaching me to see in a different light, through different lens…..through His eyes. And so, I’m letting God do things His way and in His time, because His ways are set up just perfectly for Him to receive the outcome and the glory that belongs only to Him. I’m content with that. He wants us to reach yet higher through the trials and tribulations because He knows that when we come through victoriously, we will be greatly strengthened in our faith to not be moved. And then, His name WILL be glorified. AMEN!

The Red Sea Before Me

Blog 9

The Red Sea Before Me

It has been over three months since the diagnosis of breast cancer. Shortly after returning, I decided to visit GMAA upon arrival from treatment in Mexico. I missed my students terribly, and I longed to see them. One of the most difficult things for me is having to stay away, from missing out on their learning experiences, but I know they are in good hands. God sent a very special person, Maria Leonor, to minister to His little ones. My classroom is a learning environment, but I see it more as a ministry to lead students and their parents to have a closer walk with God. I thank God for Ms. Maria and Mrs. Maceira for the many blessings and breakthroughs we have experienced in our classroom this year. We have seen very difficult students, through fasting and prayer, become transformed by God’s power.

It took a lot of courage to go to school that day. I wasn’t sure if I’d be overwhelmed, but the last thing I wanted was to put my life on hold. Life must go on, and I must take my focus off this disease, and keep my focus on God and what He wants me to do. As soon as I entered the school grounds I heard a chorus of “Mrs. Alonzo!” I was soon engulfed by children from everywhere showering me with love and hugs. Oh, how I felt God’s love for me in that moment, and I rejoiced in His Goodness.  Later as I walked the hallways, several students stopped to say they were following the blogs. A teacher mentioned that they sometimes discussed the blogs during their worship time. I thank God for allowing me to be an instrument He can use to let others know about His tender mercies and great love for us. Today in my worship time, God and I had a heart to heart conversion about continuing to write about these experiences as He has instructed me to do. Since I have been back I have only published one, even though I have two partially finished entries. At times, the disease has overwhelmed me, but Jehovah Jireh, my Provider, always sends inspiration to get me out of my slump.

Back to the school visit…….It was good to see Dr. Luis Cortes, the principal, on that visit. Thank you, Cortes, for always believing in me as a teacher, and most recently, as a fighter amidst trials. Cortes, your words “if anyone can beat this, it’s you” meant the world to me. Cortes and I chatted for a while about the treatment. I wasn’t sure when I could return….it all depends on the progress of the treatment. I had to wait three weeks for the dentretic cell vaccines I received in Mexico to strengthen. This vaccine-type therapy increases the patient’s own production of T and dendretic cells to specifically fight his/her own cancer. I have since started my protocol of three months of nutraceuticals which included supplements and some medications- even a low dose chemo.

 As we ended our conversation, he asked how I had enjoyed the book he had sent for me. Book? What book? And then I remembered......Before I had left for Mexico, he had mentioned a book that he said reminded him of the experience I was going through. I told him I’d love to borrow the book and read during my time in Mexico. Somehow, I never received the book then, and I had totally forgotten about it. It was never delivered, but within a few minutes I had it in my hands that day. What a book! As I spent the next day reading it, I knew that God, once again, has perfect timing! God knew that I needed to read that book, not during the trip, but right then. The message was exactly what I needed to hear to be encouraged. I have found strength in that book to press on like Job even in the trials. Since my return, dearest Amber and Ray who I had the pleasure of getting to know in Mexico, lost the battle with this dreadful and cursed disease. In the midst of all this pain and suffering, I sometimes for brief moments become overwhelmed. However, I choose to trust God no matter what trial I bear. In God times and in bad, I will praise him. He is and always will be in control. He has sent ongoing messages for me via close friends …….Healing will come.

This book is entitled “The Red Sea Rules,” by Robert J. Morgan, and is based on the experience of Exodus 14. It gives strategies for difficult times. I’ve chosen to discuss some of the points in the book, as I am sure it can be useful to all of us as we face our own Red Seas. The Bible says in Corinthians 10:11 that the experiences of the Israelites, both the Red Sea and the Wilderness trials, were given for our example. Therefore, we have much to learn from them.  

The first rule is to realize that God means for me to be right where I am. When the Israelites left Egypt, God himself led them to a point where the wide and deep Red Sea was before them, Pharaoh’s host was behind, with mountains encircled about them. God led them directly to the edge of the Red Sea. Exodus 13: 17-18 says that God did not lead them through the way of the Philistines even though that was shorter… but He led the people about, through the way of the wilderness towards the Red Sea.” As they traveled along, He showed them the way- He went ahead of them as a pillar of cloud to guide them, and as a pillar of fire at night. At no time did the presence of the Lord leave the Israelites.

The Lord knew EXACTLY where He was taking His children…just as He knows exactly where He is taking me. He hasn’t chosen the easy way for me. Would I prefer it? Oh yes! This path can be very painful and quite an inconvenience, but God is setting me up for a Divine miracle!

It may have seemed hopeless to them, but it is in these impossible moments that God alone is glorified. The Israelites were worried even after the many miracles they had just recently witnessed back in Egypt. However, worrying is putting questions marks where God has put periods. “God has not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 We need to accept that God has allowed us to be in these difficult situations for a reason. It is when we accept this that we can begin changing our worries into prayers of faith and praise. The same God who led you in will surely lead you out. Can you truly believe that with all your heart? If we can grasp this, it will change our whole perspective on our situation. This is the greatest lesson I must learn.  I must know that I am here according to His will, and “His will would never put me where His presence could not sustain me.” Jesus says, “in the world you will have tribulation, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” John 16:33. Jesus makes no mistakes, and He never forsakes us nor forgets about us. I will continue to share some of the other rules listed in this book on the next blog.

So here is where I am today after all the struggles, setbacks, feelings of hopelessness, weakness, nausea, fatigue, pain, disappointments…..I’ve seen Him deliver and provide for me these past few months …… My God says “and there SHALL be a highway from Assyria for the remnant left of His people, as there was for Israel when they came up out of the land of Egypt.” Isaiah 11:16. My God IS ABLE. I have no idea how much time remains in my Red Sea travels. But this I know—God is leading me through on a path He sees and knows, and I can trust Him.

Pastor Laffit Cortes, your message to me today said “be strong and courageous- Joshua 1:9.” It is because I know whom I serve that I can indeed be strong and courageous. Now watch the Majesty and Power and Glory of Almighty God as He parts my Red Sea!!!! My Red Sea will part, and so will yours, for He is able! Praise God! As we end this year, I pray that we will give all our troubles to Him who knows the path through the deep waters. We need to know and trust the God we serve.

My Prayer:

Dear God, give me that genuineness of my faith, to serve You in good times, and in the bad, regardless of the Red Sea experience in my life. For You are ever by my side. Through Your Spirit, empower me to believe Your ways are perfect even though I may not understand. Keep me strong and courageous as I wait on You.

“Wait on the Lord; to be of good courage, And He will strengthen my heart: Wait I say on the Lord” Psalm 27: 14

Teach Me, Oh God

Blog 8

Teach me, Oh God

Tony and I returned home to Miami on Monday, November 20 from Oasis of Hope Hospital in Tijuana, Mexico. God had revealed to us that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28. Even from a few months before the diagnosis of cancer, God had been workings thing out for this moment. God meant for us to go there, and He provided everything we would need. Tony had left his job for a new one just a few months before, which allowed him the flexibility to be able to accompany me to Mexico. It also provided an increased income to afford the trip- which I might add was quite expensive. That is God. He says “I will provide ALL your needs” Philippians 4:19, and He has demonstrated that beyond the shadow of a doubt.

God had ordered every step of the way, and laid out many lessons for us to learn. In the many silent moments, away from the hustle and bustle of Miami life, we took time to observe and learn from the experiences of others. As we prepared for the trip, we realized that this trip would not only be for physical healing, but God had a plan for even further restoration.

 We were taught lessons from day one until the very last day we left as we observed the love of God for each of His children. Honestly, I could not have done it without my husband, Tony. Thank you, Tony, for your patience, unconditional love, and for your encouraging words and endless hugs throughout the tears and difficult times. I have been truly blessed by you. 

I am blessed!

We have made lasting friendships from our time at Oasis, and each one taught us a specific lesson. 

First, there was Steve and his mother Mae. Mae is a cancer survivor who received treatment here many years ago. Both she and her son travel back to Oasis each year to volunteer their time and share their love with others. They are deeply spiritual, and are so full of life that it is often hard to keep up with even Mae who is in her seventies! Steve untiringly labors to organize trips and movie nights in the Treatment Room to keep us in good spirits, while getting us out and about so we are not always in a hospital environment. When you are faced with a serious illness you learn to live life to the fullest. Through the example of Steve and Mae, God has taught me to find the blessings every day. If we just take the time to look we will find an abundance of them. Jesus calls us to be servants, as He was when He was on earth because there will be no starless crowns in heaven. Like Steve and Mae, we are called to be servants or participants in the House of God, not spectators. These friends taught us to labor unceasingly, and to be a blessing to others in any way we can. “Do not be weary in well-doing, for in due season we shall reap if we faint not” Galatians 6:9.

Manny

Then there is Manny, one of the maintenance workers. He greets us every day with a blessing, a smile and a hug. Truly this man is overflowing with the love of God. “Encourage one another, and build each other up” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 is his mission for each day. I will never forget dear Cesar! He is charge of the dining area and kitchen staff. Cesar lives by “whatsoever thine hand findeth to do, do it with thy might” Ecclesiastes 9:10. He is so meticulous about getting the tables set perfectly with forks, knives, and spoons lined up on the napkins. He watches untiringly with the biggest smile on his face, and perfect posture (yes, I need to practice standing straight and tall like you, Cesar), making sure all are happy and well with the delicious vegetarian buffet spread three times a day. After a few days, he got to know exactly what I liked to add to my breakfast- thinly sliced green apples with the skin and seeds (excellent source of Vitamin B17) and a strawberry protein shake (dairy-free). It was the same treatment for each patient.

Thank you, Cesar!

 Cesar reminds me that God wants our best with whatever we do. He is not pleased with half-hearted efforts.  After all, He gave us His best- His only Son.  Cesar has influenced me to order my home more effectively. I’ve started to get rid of the clutter, and all the things that I don’t even remember I have. They have become a heavy weight that I don’t care to carry any longer. My plan is to reduce all our “stuff” by two-thirds. I’ve learned to disconnect with the things of this world that keep me in bondage, After all, I have a mansion waiting for me up yonder!

Gail taught us about the magnitude of a mother’s love as she cared for her daughter Amber. There was never a complaint. Gail always did her best to stay strong and positive for her daughter regardless of the many setbacks Amber experienced. Her love inspired me spend even more quality time with my own two children. At times, I have been guilty of spending more time on church and school activities than with them. I think of the many moments wasted that I can never get back. Parents, we need to stop pushing our children to the bottom of the list. We need to set quality time apart every day to find out how our children’s days went, to tell them that we love them, and to hug and hold them.  Find out who they are so that you can guide them through whatever it is they may go though. Stop trying to squeeze your family into your schedule, and start making them the priority. Even though we have often made a mess of things in the past, don’t worry. God is in the business of restoration. Praise God!

Natalie and her mother, Cindy, are as cute as buttons! 

Natalie and her mother, Cindy

Talk about a “merry heart doeth good like a medicine!” Proverbs 17:22. Natalie and Cindy are always beaming like bright lights. I always enjoy their presence because of that. God wants our joy to be full. He calls us to rejoice, never complaining. Let us examine ourselves to be sure that we bring joy and positive energy when we come into the presence of others. “Do not allow the perplexities and worries of everyday life to fret your mind and cloud your brow. If you do, you will always have something to vex and annoy. Life is what we make it, and we shall find what we look for. If we look for sadness and trouble, if we are in a frame of mind to magnify little difficulties, we shall find plenty of them to engross our thoughts and our conversation. But if we look on the bright side of things, we shall find enough to make us cheerful and happy. If we give smiles, they will be returned to us; if we speak cheerful, pleasant words, they will be spoken to us again.” Adventist Home, pp. 430

We spent a lot of time with Allen and Barbara. Alan is a retired pilot, and entertained us with countless stories about his life. In the same way, God calls each one of us to share our life stories- our testimonies- with the people we come in contact with. He and his wife, Barbara, a retired air-stewardess, have traveled the world, experiencing so much together. I love the way Barbara focuses much of her attention of Allen. She openly expresses her care and affection for her husband. We told them we wanted to be just like them when we get to that age, but we realize marriage takes a lot of commitment and hard work. “Though difficulties, perplexities, and discouragements may arise….determine to be all that it is possible to be to each other. Continue the early attentions. In every way encourage each other to fight the battles of life. Study to advance the happiness of each other…..The warmth of true friendship, the love that binds heart to heart, is a foretaste of the joys of heaven” Adventist Home, pp. 106. God provides a way. We just need to seek Him, and He will lead and direct us. 

Allen, Barbara, and Donna

Melissa and Brad, our friends from Hawaii, are so special. Melissa has the sweetest demeanor, patiently taking care of James. James is often in a great deal of pain but he bears it silently trying to put up a brave front. He never complains. “Do everything without complaining, so that we may be called children of God” Philippians 2:14. I have at times felt occasional pain from the cancer, but it does not compare to the agony that James experiences sometimes. Yet he silently and patiently endures without complaining in front of us. How would we react if we were in that situation? At times, I said a silent prayer for him, because there is nothing more that I can do. However, intercessory prayer allows God to work on the behalf of others. He never forces Himself on anyone, but when the call is sounded to help, whether it comes from the person himself, or from someone praying for another’s behalf, He is always present.

Aysha and I keep in touch on a regular basis. She is Muslim and originally from Pakistan. She has taught me about faith. She goes to her room to pray five times a day. Such diligence! She had these beads wrapped around her hand that looked sort of like a rosary. She later told me they were called tasbeeh, and are used to say short repetitive utterances in praise and glorification. An example Aysha gave was to use it as a reminder of God's power. On that particular day she prayed to God using one of His names or attributes- God as Healer. Throughout the day she would utter that God was her Healer while touching a bead. I pondered on how I may apply this to my Christian walk…I've applied it this way: I may say Scriptures about healing, or patience, etc., daily and then claim them because God’s Word is truth. Aysha, your strength and perseverance has taught me to press on in faith because God will never let us down.

Rebecca and Andrew were a huge inspiration. While at Oasis, they received a call from home that their home was burglarized. On top of that, the culprits spent the night partying and vandalizing the house, taking many precious possessions. I could hardly believe their misfortune at a time like this when Andrew was battling cancer. Nevertheless, their comment to us was that it was only stuff. Wow! As I pondered their remark, I wondered how I would react in a situation like that. So often we are tied to our possessions, rather, in bondage. We have too much, most of which we do not even need. Far too often, these things take up so much of our time that we have little time or energy for God. The brand new car needs to be detailed…..the collections need to be displayed to show off what we have……the huge house that has more rooms than we need envelops all our energy to clean it, so that by Friday night we can’t even prepare for the Sabbath because we are exhausted. We are overwhelmed! I am learning to be satisfied with what I have, and to shed all the “stuff.” This week, both Tony and my closets fell down- just like that! Lord, I take it you are telling me to get rid of all that “stuff.” I hear You loud and clear, dear Lord!” God is showing me not to get tied down by the cares of this world. After all, He has much more glorious things waiting for me up yonder.

Internet was slow most of the time in Mexico, and it was difficult getting the blogs out more regularly. The last blog, #7, encountered many difficulties. After a week of writing and trying to get it just right, I was finally ready to publish. I was about to copy and paste it in the blog site when suddenly,  the words started deleting line by line!!! I could not believe it! I pressed every key I could think of on the computer but it kept on deleting speedily. I decided to take a video on my phone so I could retrieve some of it that way. However, after it had all deleted, I tried playing it back, and all I got was a black screen. I prayed a silent praying asking God to find a way to get this information back. My God can move mountains….. surely He would find a way so all this writing would not be lost. I had continuously saved the document on Word throughout the week as I had been writing.  Now, when I went to my saved documents, it was nowhere to be found. Then I remembered that I had originally started writing the blog on my Ipad, and had forwarded it to my email. That original document was still there, praise God! Many changes had been made throughout that week, so I had to go back and change as much as I could recall. I knew God would help me, and He did. When I was done with it, the second attempt was better than the first. The enemy is like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour but God says “fear thou not; for I am with thee: Be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea I will help thee” Isaiah 40:18. He most certainly did. I do not know what that was all about, but I am thankful to have yet another opportunity to see God at work!

If we are willing, we shall be taught by the Lord, and great shall be our peace. He will give us insights into our character if we take the time to listen to what He has to say. At times he speaks through the experiences of others, sometimes in a still small voice, by observing His creation, and through His written Word. He has shown me my true state, my weaknesses and frailties, and is showing me how to gain the victories in this life. It may sound strange, but I thank God for this whole experience because without it…..where would I have been spiritually? God in His great love and mercy was not content to leave me where I had fallen, but was ready with outstretched arms to take me to His bosom. I cry a lot, but it’s not tears of sorrow but of thankfulness for He has shown favor on me when I did not deserve it…..but that is God. Please get to know Him. Take time to look around you and see what God wants to show you. The lessons may be where you least expect it. Having a knowledge of Him and actually knowing Him are two different things, My prayer for all who read these blogs is that you are drawn into a closer relationship to God….so close that you include Him in everything you do. This journey has been the best adventure of my life. Nothing compares to the thrill of walking with God step by step, day by day. What did you learn from God today?

“Show me Your ways, Lord, teach me your paths” Psalm 25:4; “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these shall be added unto you” Matthew 6:33.

My Prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, Thank you for sending Your Son, Jesus, who died for us while we were yet sinners. There is nothing we can do to make You love us more. You long to have us draw near to You. Please remove all the “stuff” we get caught up with that separates us from you. Help us to take time to seek your instruction for the day because You have so much to say to us. Thank you for your great love, mercy, kindness, and patience towards us.

In the precious name of Jesus,

Amen!