I had been feeling as though the flu was coming on. Strange for
me, because I usually don’t get sick, or if I do, I shake it after a day or so. That
Thursday evening, I started getting chills. By that night I had fever and felt
like I had been hit by a truck. Friday was no better so I stayed home. By
Monday I was still sick so I scheduled an appointment with the doctor. My body
was obviously fighting some mega virus here!
At the appointment, everything checked out fine… no major
concerns until I told the doctor to check a lump I had found. Now this was a
common thing for me as I have had a history of fibrocystic breasts- a harmful
condition of cysts or lumps. By the look of Dr. N’s face I could tell she had
concerns. She ordered immediate mammogram and ultrasound. We managed to get an
appointment that very same day. After having my daylights literally pressed out of me
during the mammogram, followed next by the ultrasound, I was told that I needed to
do a biopsy to confirm. That was completed a few days after and was told I’d
get the results in 5 days. As the days passed it seemed like an eternity of
torture. After just two days my primary doctor called me to come in. Oh boy!
Usually they would tell me the results over the phone. She called me to her office.
I had never been in her office before. This was bad, very, very bad! She
proceeded to tell me as gently as she could….the tests are positive, stage 3.
What! I was overwhelmed. How could this be happening to me?!
I don’t want this cup Lord. Take it away from me!!! Some other way but not
this…….but then, I hear Him saying to me “
I will never give you more than you can bear, but will with every trial provide
a way for me to bear it.” 1
Corinthians 10:13. We belong to Him and He will not allow any difficulty to
come into our lives that we are not capable of bearing. God remains faithful
and will provide a way to endure the test. And with that, I surrendered to His
will and trust that He has a plan in all this even though don't understand. I must trust His heart.
The drive home was long as it all started to sink in. I
called Tony and told him the solemn news. He came home right away. Somehow, I felt a
strength within me. There are moments like these when I am empowered to rise
against all obstacles, and I can only attribute it to the power of the Holy
Spirit. I wish I could remain in that state of mind at all times…….Tony took it
hard. As he hugged me and sobbed God put words in my mouth to encourage him. I
reminded him of how God had been doing a marvelous work in me, showing me how I
was and doing a work of transformation in me. There had been many challenges,
but through it all God had always delivered me. He wasn’t about to leave me now.
God had a plan. We were both strengthened in that moment to feel God’s presence
and know that He was with us, and together we knew we would beat this.
One may ask why? Why me? After all, I’ve been a vegetarian
for about 20 years. Lately I had even become vegan, even eliminating
sodium-loaded meat substitutes, canned food, sugar, and processed foods from my
diet. Well, why not me? We live in a sin-ravaged world, and none are exempt
from its effects. Several months ago, my prayer partners and I had been
studying the health message and God’s healing methods. 1Thess. 5:23, 24 says “And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly,
and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto
the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is He that calleth you, who also
will do it.” God’s healing is threefold- spiritual, physical, and mental.
Without one, you cannot be truly healthy. In the story of the paralytic in Matt. 9:1-8, Jesus says “Be of good courage (mental healing)…Thy sins be forgiven (spiritual
healing)…..Take up thy bed and walk
(physical healing).
“There are today thousands suffering from physical disease,
who, like the paralytic, are longing for the message, “Thy sins are forgiven.”
The burden of sin, with its unrest and unsatisfied desires, is the foundation
of their maladies. They can find no relief until they come to the Healer of the
soul. The peace which He alone can give would impart vigor to the mind, and
health to the body.” (Desire of Ages, pg. 270.)
The Lord had been working in me spiritually over the past
few years, and had been directing me to physical healing through the health message and taking care of
my body. But one area that had been lacking was the mental/emotional side.
Ultimately, negative emotions WILL affect one’s health and it had certainly
done so with me. I had been carrying around a lot of baggage for a long time
and the load was breaking me. These unresolved issues make us more susceptible
to illnesses. I truly believe that my present condition resulted from
unresolved issues from childhood, teenage years, and throughout my life.
Nevertheless, the time had come to let it go. After all, He never asked me to
carry it but said “cast all your cares on me.” As long as I kept carrying this
baggage I would never have complete healing. Jesus said to me “Wilt thou be made whole?” Yes, I want to be made whole, for only to the degree that we are made whole will our lifestyle,
our behavior and actions, our thoughts, our manner of living, and our
relationships be wholesome.
Please watch the following video entitled "Wilt thou be made whole" by Dr. Thomas Jackson (www.meetministries.org). It was life changing!
My prayer: Dear
Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your son, Jesus Christ to give us life
more abundantly. Lord you know everything about us. We are as open books
waiting for you to erase the mistakes of the past, and to engrave your ways in
our hearts. Help us to fully understand what it means and what it takes to be
made whole- physically, mentally, and spiritually. Thank you for hearing and
answering my prayer. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
I can hardly wait to
tell you in the next blog what God impressed me to do to be set free. Join me
tomorrow for Part 3.